Our Sweet Surprise!

Today our little Lyla Spring is 6 months old. I simply can't believe it. When I was pregnant with her time passed so slowly. Now, I just want to freeze time. Six months is such a precious age.

This little doll baby that we have has a special story. She wasn't expected. We had never planned to have two babies so close together. As the Word tells us, 'His ways are higher than ours.' No, Russ and I would not have planned on little Lyla, but I cannot tell you how grateful I am that I'm not in charge.

It was May 17, 2010. I came home from work very sick. I told my dear friend Beth that I felt  "pregnant sick," not just "sick".  I didn't think that I was pregnant, I just felt that sick. When I came home that afternoon, I remembered that I had a pregnancy test and so I took it. As I began to see the little "+" sign appear, I began to panic. All I could say was "Lord, what are you doing? Lord, what are you doing?" I broke down. Not because I don't love babies. I ADORE babies. I want a house-full of babies. But, we had this precious 9-month old that had already stolen our hearts. Russ was/is in school full-time. He is in ministry, and his ministry is based on support, which means he makes a part-time salary. I'm a teacher = enough said. We didn't have the money. I had no sick leave. We couldn't afford more day care. A million thoughts flashed through my mind in 1.2 seconds as to why this would be the worst possible thing that could happen to us.

I collapsed on the floor - literally. Russ just kept saying, "Everything is fine. Alison, we are having a baby! That is wonderful!" Later, he admitted to me that he was about to throw-up, but he knew we couldn't both lose our minds.

So we began to pray. Lord, we would not have planned this, but obviously, you think this family isn't complete. You think Lily Rain needs a sibling and we need another life to be responsible for. Please provide, Lord.

We began to wonder if Russ should quit school and give up his ministry and just take on a normal job. Amazing things began to happen. It would take me 3 days to write about all the ways the Lord made it clear that He was our provider. That He is the source of life and His plans for us are for good and not for harm. He made it clear to us that He has done nothing but give us a gift; a sweet, perfect, gift, in the form of a baby. We, as humans, have taken beautiful gifts and given them price tags. In doing so, we have labeled so many blessings as burdens.

We learned this lesson on January 20, 2011. Our Lyla Spring decided to make her appearance and my heart has never been the same. She has brought nothing but pure joy into our lives. I never thought I could love another human being the way I love Lily Rain, but the Lord multiplied my love and filled a void I didn't even know I had when she entered our lives. I look at her and I am completely ashamed for the way I acted when I found out about her. She entered this world, demanding one thing, to be loved. She hasn't asked for the nicest homes, or cars, or clothes. She simply wants to be loved. We have allowed our world to tell us that the more you give your children, the more you love them. In turn, we have daddies that never come home and call it "provision". We have houses and cars that teach our children that success=stuff. We have moms working to attain a certain standard of living, while someone else raises their children. It is heartbreaking.

Has it been hard, yes. We still struggle financially. We have credit card bills, and mortgages, and we ask ourselves every month, "how are we going to pay for ______?" But when I look at her, none of that matters. I would do it all again tomorrow.

To me it all boils down to one thing, do we believe what God says about children, that they are a blessing and a gift? The Lord has shown me that "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines His steps". (Proverbs 16:9)

I am so thankful that the Lord determined my steps for me and brought this angel into our lives. We are incredibly grateful.

Here are a few pictures from the past 6 months.

Happy half-birthday Lyla Spring. Mommy, Daddy, and Lily Rain love you more than you will every know!