The hubs has taken the girls to see the fireworks. Will is asleep. I have at least one hour, maybe two, of interrupted time to myself, with my favorite drink of choice. Let freedom ring.
Earlier this summer, I read a book titled Surprised by Motherhood, by Lisa Jo Baker. While pretending to be a stay-at-home mom this summer, I find myself saying that title over and over in my head. Motherhood is in fact, so surprising.
And glorious.
And exhausting.
And marvelous.
And draining.
And tiring.
And beautiful.
And worth every ounce of energy that I could possibly pour into it.
I loved reading this book because I could relate entirely to her message. She grew up not wanting children, which I don't relate to, but the Lord drastically changed her and revealed himself through the birth of each of her three children. This book reminded me of the importance of soaking in and trying to learn from each exhausting moment, as they each pass so very quickly.
"But I believe God loves us too much to leave us flailing in our self-centered universe, so He delivers these tiny reflections of ourselves into our homes with earthquake effectiveness." pg. 187, Surprised by Motherhood.
Is that not the truth? Earthquake effectiveness.
Earlier this week, I was able to have a couple of hours out with some girlfriends. One of my dearest friends is just about ready to deliver her first baby boy in a couple of weeks. She is having all of the normal anxious feelings and has so many questions. As the other mamas and myself were reassuring her, tears came to my eyes as I reflected upon the indescribable exerperince she is about to encounter. The beauty of that moment, holding your child, your first child, is the most life-changing experience any woman will go through. I couldn't help but encourage her and tell her, that her life as she knows it was about to get one million times greater. She is about to receive, what I truly believe, is the greatest gift on this side of heaven. But once again, motherhood is so surprising.
Because she will be exhausted, and hormonal, and doubt her abilities. Her boobs will ache, she will cry for no reason, and then she will hold this non-sleeping human, and feel like a superwoman. It is so surprising.
And then babies grow, and you will long for an hour with just you and your husband. However, when that hour comes, you will miss that sweet baby so much that you rush home just to watch her sleep. Motherhood is surprising.
And then, if your like me, you quickly become pregnant again. You will cry and scream and wonder how on earth you, or your checkbook, will survive. Well, once again, your surprised by motherhood. You hold that baby and wonder how on earth you ever lived a day without her.
And then, if you're anything like me, three years will pass, and you'll ache to hold a newborn again. You will become pregnant and wonder why on earth you wanted this as you throw up your breakfast each morning. Your back will ache, your clothes won't fit, you'll pee when you sneeze, and you'll pray that the baby will come early. As you deliver, you begin to cry, as you realize you may never experience life inside you again. Surprised by Motherhood.
Your babies will start school and sports. You'll love and listen. Encourage and discipline. Laugh and cry. You will experience doubt and joy. You will act in ways you promised you wouldn't. Motherhood is surprising.
Through it all, Jesus is there. He knows and understands every ounce of our being, our desires, our needs, and our wants. He uses these tiny humans to teach us more about his love and His sacrifice for us. He entrusts us with these gifts so that we can direct and point them to love, honor, and glorify Him. Mamas, we will mess up. We will have bad days, and say the wrong thing. But, motherhood is surprising. And His mercies are new each morning.
"There is no part of our everyday, wash and repeat routine of kids and laundry and life and fights and worries and playdates and aching budgets and preschool orientations and work and marriage and love and new life and bedtime marathons that Jesus doesn't look deep into and say, 'That is mine.' In him all things hold together." page 116, Surprised by Motherhood.
I am incredibly grateful for each of my three blessings. With each day, I'm continuing to be surprised by motherhood.
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